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[ * penang kia * ]

Monday, May 20

Not quite a happy blogger today. There's something on my mind which I'm trying not to think about. It's hard... having something stuck up there in your head which you're not entirely happy about and then having to just not talk or think about it coz talking and thinking about it feels like it might make you feel worse. And also feeling that it should be nothing so I really should just forget about it.

I wonder who came up with the words 'sweet nothings'. Whoever came up with it must've been in exactly the same mood I'm in right now. For some reason I can't seem to put up with all the fakeness around me at the moment. All the words ppl around me are saying just seem so unreal to me... not unreal as in 'wow' unreal but unreal as in... Ok I want to use the word fake but I don't feel it's as bad as fake. Everything I hear just seems so... empty. Devoid of real feeling... it's just words coming outta mouths. Nothing more.

I used to - and normally - feel so warm and fuzzy when I hear someone say 'I love you'. Today it felt like... just words. I've always believed that actions speak louder than words. If you feel the way you say you feel, then your actions should show exactly how you said you felt. You can't just do something bad and at the end of it say 'I love you' and expect everything to go away.

So anyway, I'm in a slightly confused state right now coz I don't know how I should feel or think about this something that I'm trying not to think about. Probably explains why this post is just a bit erratic. Anyway I've decided that it's probably no big deal and I'll just forget about it. I'll try anyway. I should be able to do it... seeing that I've already done it for more than a day and it wasn't that difficult... I guess.

:: AlCee 5/20/2002 02:45:00 AM [+] ::